Fighting with a very close friend can be one of the worst things to do. Now when I say fight I don’t mean the petty “You broke my jelly jam jar without saying sorry” or the “You wore my white shirt and spilled red wine all over it” kinda fight. We are talking about fights that lead to friendships ending.
Now the whole lifecycle of a fight is quite stressful already, then figuring out how to make up again is another level of hard. Nothing pains more than being hurt by someone you believe would never hurt you, also because they know your deepest and darkest secrets.
So it starts out with maybe you crying and shouting, then it advances to you both giving each other the silent treatment(But then something very interesting happens and you have to gossip about it with your friend, then you remember you both ain’t speaking to each).
According to Dr. Andrea Bonior, Friendship is not only beneficial to your emotional and physical health but also helps maintain sanity amongst individuals. Do you also know that people with strong friendship bonds tend to Live Longer and recover from trauma faster than those not in one? So as you can see, there’s actually no benefit neither is there any advantage of keeping pointless grudges whilst killing yourself inside.
If you have given the whole thing a deep thought and realize there’s actually no point holding this grudge, I’ll suggest you gulp in your pride, suck in your ego and just go talk to each other. Below are some tips to assist you in stitching back your relationship with each other.
Ways To Make Up With A Friend After A Fight
1) Conclude With Yourself That You Are Ready To Make Up
Back then in college, I used to know these two, sweet Jennifer and fickle Ester, they were best of friends, and did literally everything together that you would think they were sisters. But that all changed the day Jennifer caught ester sleeping with her boyfriend.
They went days without talking to each other, days turned to weeks and weeks into months. At a point they thought they were both ready to fix things and get back together, but it seems the more they tried the more worst it becomes. The point is, only let your friends back in when you’ve concluded to put the past behind you and are ready to move on.
2) Apologise In Person
As they say, face-to-face is always better. Also, it would make the other party know it really coming from within. Schedule a time and place that you know you both would appreciate and just go talk to your friend.
3) Forget The Fight Ever Happened And Move On
Ever been in one of those situations whereby after a fight with maybe a friend or your mom, you realize that the whole thing or cause of the fight was so pointless? Yes, it is like that sometimes. In such a situation instead of pondering over it again and again, just come to an agreement to let it go and forget it ever happened. Just start the whole friendship fresh.
4) Your Apology Should Come From Within
Obviously, your friend knows you so well to know if your apology is actually genuine and not just another BS move. The point here is just to try to be truthful with yourself and not fake the apology. For example saying something like “Look I’m sorry I spilled wine on your shirt, but you were actually being an AH about it” would only take matters from 10 to 100 really fast.
5) Celebrate The Return
Ok so you followed the above steps and now you both are back together all holly and jolly. After the whole hugging and crying part, you should consider throwing a little party just to celebrate the reunion (maybe watch a movie(Brainjotter) or something, just you two) and catch up with everything that happen all throughout the period you both were being over-dramatic with each other.
One day you’ll both look back at it all and laugh at each other for being so stupid and for letting such a little thing bring you two apart.
it is worth noting that nothing good comes out of holding grudges with someone you consider a friend. It is usually you both killing yourselves inside by trying to portray the opposite of what you actually feel inside. You only live once so why not make each moment count and not waste it on unnecessary feuds?